Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
