i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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