When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
