Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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