what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
