just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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