i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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