You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
