You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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