don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
