sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
