I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
