Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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(240): View more from Maryland

One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.

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(512): View more from Texas

Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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(512): View more from Texas

I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma

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(563): View more from Iowa

So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!

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(312): View more from Illinois

You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.

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(360): View more from Washington

You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights

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(843): View more from South Carolina

While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....

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