I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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