We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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