How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize