i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
