Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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