Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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