Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
