you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
