omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
