She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
handjob tips. give me some.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
