I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
