Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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