I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
