I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
