It's Friday. Sex?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
