she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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