His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
