I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
