Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
