you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize