I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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