did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
