You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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