ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
