We're facebook friends in real life
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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