This is not my ceiling
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
