It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
