i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
no, he came in my armpit
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
