he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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