I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize