Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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