proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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