He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
