mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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