I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
