how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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