I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
