it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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