my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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