Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
