my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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