Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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