Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
