i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
should my penis look like a turkey
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
